Tag: comparison

Mind your own biscuits !

How are you getting on with your ‘ subtraction ‘ homework.

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Letting go of our need to control others, our judgements and comparisons is the key to happiness but it isn’t always easy is it?!

Accepting it is never what happens to us that causes us stress, but what we think about it that does, can be a challenge.

We may know that on an intellectual level but once you are in a situation with that person in front of you, saying and doing all those things that push your buttons, before you know it you automatically go down the path of judgment and comparison and feeling bad again.

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The mind often takes this short cut without awareness so it seems like ‘they’ have caused the bad feelings in you whereas in fact it wasn’t them it was your thoughts all along !

Realising this does put the power of change in your court though, no need to wait for them to change before you can feel good but it can also feel like a big responsibility , sometimes it is easier to blame others isn’t it ?!

All religions, spiritual teachings and practices have this message in common because it is a universal truth. Sometimes, however, the mind can object and hear all this as control, shoulds and oughts and judge these messages as shame and blame and want to rebel.

Sometimes the mind responds better to a different approach.

What about this message in music !

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There is really interesting research that has been done with people with advanced Alzheimer’s disease. Even after they have lost all short term memory teaching them something completely new as lyrics of a song set to music means they can retain and remember it, whereas just using words they can’t.

Could you use this song on You Tube to utilise a different pathway of your brain to remind yourself to let go of judgements , control and comparisons.

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Good luck with  Minding Your Own Biscuits  today !

Comparison – the thief of joy

Are you thinking about what other games could be considered metaphors?

Have you ever thought how often you play Top Trumps as a game of life ?

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Sharks was a favourite one in our house !

All Top Trumps games epitomise comparison and striving to be better than everyone else in the various categories. At times could this also be a metaphor for your life ?

Do you subconsciously score yourself in regards to such attributes as success, achievements, power, attractiveness and then at some level make your self worth dependent on this score. Perhaps you forget you are comparing your insides with other people’s ‘Facebook perfect’ outsides and end up with sense of unease, insecurity or lack of confidence or do you slip into a state where you are continually judging and can only feel good about yourself if your imaginary score matches or is better than those around you.

Both quite precarious positions to be in – don’t you agree !

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So is the only way forward to throw away the whole pack ?

Maybe – but perhaps you might consider keeping hold of your own card.
Thinking about your own hypothetical card can be a positive exercise in getting to know yourself. If you had only 6 or 8 categories what would be the values you would decide were really important to you. Deep seated feelings of ‘ not being good enough ‘ and ‘not being loveable ‘ are at the root of so many people’s issues and struggles in life – are these high scoring negative categories on the Top Trump card of your life ?

What if you were to make a decision that instead of comparing yourself to other people you will now lovingly accept yourself and live your life from that place. Why not decide today your only comparison will be to how you used to be ( row your own boat and just leave others to get on with rowing theirs !)

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Put your focus on encouraging yourself to improve as you move forward. Maybe finding positive ways to build your confidence, coming for hypnotherapy, finding a way to contribute or be part of a community could all help in building up your sense of self worth independent of anyone else.

Wouldn’t it be great to move forward in the game of your life feeling you had excellent scores in ‘ being good enough’ and ‘loveability.

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