Tag: quality time

What language do you speak ?

language

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What Language do you speak ?

Would your initial response be English – perhaps with a spattering of GCSE French or Spanish.

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languages

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Well actually I am not asking about that type of language but rather about what Love Language you speak!

Gary Chapman has written an interesting book called ‘ The 5 Love Languages ‘ and has identified five main ways we communicate and appreciate love. Most people have one main category that predominantly gives them their greatest feeling of giving and receiving love.

I wonder if you’ve ever noticed a time when trying to do something nice for a loved one or a friend that it hasn’t been appreciated in quite the way you expected or would have appreciated it yourself.

Do you ever feel that people don’t do enough loving things for you and don’t appreciate you in the way you would like.

Perhaps, like with so many issues in life, the difficulty is a lack of communication. The problem is that you are probably speaking different love languages and to improve your communication it would be good to get a working knowledge of each others language.

I wonder which resonates the most with you ?

1. Words of affirmation – you feel and show love with words, saying I love you and other words of appreciation

i love you

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2. Acts of service – you feel and show love by actions rather than words, it is the things you do and that are done for you that express the love.
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acts-of-service

cooking
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3. Receiving gifts – you feel and show love by giving and receiving, this can be small gifts and gestures and doesn’t have to be grand presents

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give-flowers

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gift

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4. Quality time -you feel and show love by having and giving undivided attention.

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quality time

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5. Physical touch – you feel and show love by touch, holding hands , a caress, a gentle hand on the shoulder.

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touch

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Which category do you think you are in and what about your family and friends ?

Remember put aside any judgement about your own language being the best, there is no one language that is better than any other , just like English is no better than Japanese than Greek than Hindi. You wouldn’t want to become one of those arrogant people who just expect everyone to speak their own language and make no attempt to even learn a few words of someone else’s- would you!

Becoming mindful of clues to which love language people use can be the first step to improving your communication. This will allow you to treat others in the way they want to be treated and appreciate what they are trying to do for you. You can begin to see their loving motives even if their behaviour doesn’t quite hit the mark for you. Once you both realise which love language you are speaking you can then begin to ‘speak’ in the appropriate way to each other.

Always remember Listening is the most powerful tool we have in communication !

We make so may assumptions in everyday life, about others and what makes them tick . The first rule of hypnotherapy is to never make assumptions about anyone and instead really try and get into an individual’s way of thinking to get the clearest picture that you can of their experience of their world.
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communication
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So what about taking that on in your everyday life.

Keep in mind that classic mistake of just shouting louder ( or doing more of the same thing ) when someone doesn’t understand your language and instead what about starting to learn some of theirs and teaching them some of yours !

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